Bitter sweet goodbye...

So Im leaving CA on a bittersweet goodbye. Its sad to leave when the trip was soo good. I loved every moment of it. I pent the majority with family rather than friends but it was way nice. I truly am gonna miss my family but I now that they are behind me and they support me. I love them and I know I dont say that enough to them (meaningfly not the im hanging up i love you and miss you way but the heartfelt way). I am glad everyone is doing well. It really is hard to live away from home and not live soo close that Im home for the weekends type of way. Seeing how well Justin and Brittany are doing well (and are having great luck might i add) and seeing Jenn happy for the first time in a long time made me happy. The cousins are getting bigger everyday and thats hard but my family keeps me supplied with lots of pictures! My mom is well...my mom lol...if you dont know her you wouldnt really get that but thats a good thing lol. My grandparents celebrated their 49th wedding anniversary while I was here. Crazy! John and Brenda are doing Great as usual jut happy parents of the three cutest children I have ever known (besides myself of course! lol...). I think all and all Brenda probably is my biggest supporter of me and the Army and I am greatful for that and greatful for all her help she ha given me these past few days while I was in CA letting me stay with her and letting me barrow her car and etc! Thanks! I really am sad to go but all these must come to an end and why not on such a great note? (Especially before I mess everything up and start a bunch of fights?...lol...its bound to happen I am who I am)

This week I spent a lot of time with Brittany and Jenn and it was soo great! Why couldnt we have always gotten along so well? The Angels games were awesome! I miss the Angels! I also loved going to the Angel game with my mom! ha ha ha it was crazy but fun! My mom is such a goof!

I went to my old church and visited and forgot how much I LOVE everyone there and when they found out whats going down with me and the Army they were all so excited! Though I will say one weird thing happened while I was at church. I was holding Charlis baby (dani she is too cute shes only a copuple months old if i remember correctly) and one lady came up to me and was like..."you look good holding a baby, you should have one of your own." Then she just walked away! how strange. Though i will say everytime I come home to visit playing and hanging out with my baby cousins always make me baby hungry. Not just that hanging out with my aunt makes me want to settle down and have a family set up house and etc...but we will see who knows what the near future holds...lol...or the far future. Im hoping sooner rather than later (not too soon though!)

Well Im off to bed have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow but ill write some more about the trip in a day or two!

So Cal

So i forgot how like refreshin the air is in California I love it soo much! Its like moist but not humid where as in Utah its dry and cold. I definetly miss the weather soo much! Its so pretty Ill put up some pics of my trip later this week.

So when I got to San Dimas I got attacked by my little cousins they are getting so big it makes me sad how big they are getting. They wouldnt calm down when I got here they got new bunk beds (well the twins did) and it is too cute! And jack got a big kid bed. (no one tell him its actually a hand me down from his older siblings he doesnt know!) They just got back from a trip in Hawaii and they were showing me pictures it was fun! I cant believe how big the twins are they are almost 5 crazy! Samantha has a little grown up voice now it is soo cute! And Jack wont stop talking once you get him started he wont stop. I didnt get to spend too much time with them cause they have school in the morning and it was there bed time.

Now to the really exciting part he he he...my aunts new kitchen! I will forward on pictures later this week. She has granite countertops that are like brownish blackish baseish. Then she has dark wood cabinets that are on both sides of the kitchen. It also has new tile on the floor and under cabinet lighting (HOW COOL!!!) stainless steal appliances (they arent new though but blend very well) I can not express in words how much I LOVE her new kitchen it is amazing basically a very obtainable kitchen that I can strive for. Seeing how my dream kitchen is not very realistic with wanting the island with refrigerator stoarge underneath ha ha ha...my dream kitchen is more of a utility kitchen in a house and more prettyfied lol!

Disclaimer; i dont want you to clairfy to you that I do LOVE my cousins and I dont like the Kitchen more than them. :-)

Out from Cali!

Sunny days

Dont you just love sunny days? I Love them they remind me of home! Today was an unsually nice sunny day and my apartment complex has two hammocks so i got a book and went down and spent a good three hours in the hammock reading in the sun it was so great! I just love it! reading in the sun is one of my most favorite thinsg to do!

Obsessions...

Lately I have found myself obsessed with going to the gym i go non stop everyday. But I found myself in a rut the past two days. I had been going happily and actively for a while but turns out that no one has faith ill be ready and in shape for the army until like August but my goal is now June. Im starting to find it hard to actively go to the gym when i know that no one has faith in me and is kind of wishing for me to fail. Is this why I am going to fail? Am i determined to fail? Or am I just thinking about it way too much? ....